


Collection Of Bullshit

by rabbitsinabox



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, F/F, First Meetings, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, cute snow shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7279489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbitsinabox/pseuds/rabbitsinabox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles I've done by request from friends, ranging from pretentious and tense to lighthearted memeing. I hope it's enjoyable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. gayperion/happy ending/internet friends/convention

**gayperion/happy ending/internet friends/convention**

_ April 24th 7 pm _

Brogrammer: Dude

You: Bro

Brogrammer: Dudebro

You: The Dudest of the Bros

Brogrammer: You know hackathon right?

You: Vaughn

You: We both haven't shut up about it since 

You: Ever. We've never not talked about it.

Brogrammer: Right. Stupid question.

Brogrammer: But beside the point. I got tickets.

You: wait.

You: do not be lying.

You: Don't fuck wkth me dude

You:*eith

You: JUST SEND ME EVIDENCE

Brogrammer: **[file sent]**

You: there's 3 there. You don't have 2 friends bro.

Brogrammer: You  _ wound me _

Brogrammer: the third one is for Yvette

You: and the 2nd one????

Brogrammer: **[file sent]**

You: You're taking a plane ticket to hackathon?

You: OHHHH

You:  _ oh _

You: holy shit.

Brogrammer: I uh. Wanted it to be a surprise.

_ May 20th 12:30 am _

You: They just started letting people on

You: I’m going to need so much tiny alcohol

Brogrammer: Yvette says hi

Brogrammer: and “Smuggle some off for me too.”

You: Hello, lunch leech. I already was testing it with my shampoo. So no. 

Brogrammer: See that’s not going to win her favor at alll dude

Brogrammer: She is the one who got you business class 

You: I’ll buy her some once I’m off the metal death trap.

You: Full sized!

You: Alright. Turning off all electronic devices. See you in 5 hours.

The airport lighting somehow makes it even more surreal. Rhys has to rub at his eyes before he registers the fact that, holy shit, this is the person he’s seen through webcams. In the flesh and nearly engulfed by the hoodie he’s wearing. That’s Vaughn. He takes a step forward, his suitcase rolling behind him. “Dude”

Vaughn’s eyes go wide with realisation as he looks up. He goes straight in for the hug, lifting Rhys by the waist with surprising strength. This is the actual physical body of his best friend. It almost hurts with how overwhelming it is. Or maybe it’s his torso being nearly crushed by Vaughn’s arms. Doesn’t really matter. He hears Vaughn murmur something against his t-shirt before being set down.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. Holy shit.”

“I’m immediately passing out on your couch.”

_ May 30 8:00 pm _

You: Hey can I

You: say something a little bit sappy

Brogrammer: oh no

Brogrammer: go ahead.

You: I really enjoyed being around you

Brogrammer: I did too dude. I’m really not regretting buying those tickets

You: yeah

You: I think it made me realise something really important

Brogrammer: yeah?

You: I just

You: I think I love you dude. A lot.

You: I was just sitting there on the couch yesterday before I left and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I didn’t want to leave and how great it is just to fucking be in the same room and shit shit shit

You: I’m sorry

_ Brogrammer is typing… _


	2. defiant - criminals - a cabin in northern Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handsome Jack is an asshole, but honestly, what else is new?  
> Oh, yeah. The police.

This cabin is shit. The possible outcomes for this situation are shit. That job was shit. Handsome Jack is a steaming pile of shit on top of all the other shit. Sitting right next to me. He even smells like it. We both do.

There's a hole in my sock.

Probably got there while I was running for me life.

I bet all the socks in hell are mismatched. I'm not going to be able to deal with that. I could deal with cleaning up all the bodies. Enough slasher flicks will prepare you for the anything. But fuck mismatched socks.

“Hey. Kid. Return from whatever lala land you're in and go get the case from the upstairs bedroom.” Jack snaps in front of my face.  That is definitely another thing I won’t be able to deal with for much longer. I stare at his expectant expression for a few moments, take in a deep breath, and push myself up off the chair.

“You almost got us killed, you realize that right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was way shorter than I remember. Whoops.  
> anyways send those requests in at discountlonewanderer.tumblr.com


	3. the color purple-a broken fork-snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janey's a sap.

The color purple haunted Janey. It invaded her dreams. It popped into her mind when she was just trying to work. It stood in front of her with a rather miffed expression as she formulated her plan.

She was in deep. And she was gonna charm herself a vault hunter.

“Jus’ look for the fork. Pleeease? With extra moon rocks on top? It's lucky. And you asked for more work.”

“Alright.. Send me the general location where you lost it.”

Janey smiled to herself as she input the location of her hidden fork. This would keep Athena busy for a while, and close enough to an area with snow, while she mixed up a bit of dye and got to work.

It took a bunch of jerryrigging cryo tanks and nearly freezer burnt hands, but the look on Athena's face was worth it. The drop of her usual scowl for a more slack jawed and in awe look. 

“Is that… A snow sculpture?” She took a few steps around the structure to get a better look. “You made a sculpture of the two of us out of snow?”

“You can bet your ass I did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well I really hope this was worth the time to read. If anyone wants to request something from me I'm always reachable through my tumblr and I'll definitely be checking comments too.  
> discountlonewanderer.tumblr.com


End file.
